Estonian Day No. 90.

And again I managed to let ten (!) days pass before writing the next post for my blog. Seems like I kinda like having lots of work. Or my life's just become too normal by now. Dunno.

Found this song. ♫ It's the way, not who walks along it. It's the how, not where you are. ♫ That kinda hit me.

Friday, I went dancing again with Leonie and her host mother. It's weird - this folkdancing night is once every month and we've been there for the third time now. I mean - what?!

Before it started, I had some time that I spent with taking photos. As usually. The folkdancing night was pretty boring. Luckily, they had food for free - they never had that before and it was really delicious. Afterwards, we went to Walking, a shoe shop, where they had a big sale night. I actually found five pairs of shoes that I absolutely adored - and each was between 1€ and 9€!!! But somehow, Estonians seem to have small feet: each of those pairs was available in size 37 only. Okay, that's not true: I found some that were also in size 36!!! Argh. That was reaaally frustrating. But whatever - I have enough shoes. Still, not very nice.

Then we went to Kaubamaja - they also had a big sale night: in almost every shop, they had -20% after 22.00! So I found an amazing dress - actually I had found it already that afternoon, but it had been too expensive for me that time - and bought it. That made me very happy.

At Leonie's place, we ate loads of chocolate and had our favourite non-alcoholic sparkling wine again (the Tom&Jerry edition) and watched the first fourty minutes of "The Life of Brian". Then we were too tired and went to bed. At midnight, so sometime in between all that, she pointed out, that we'd be at home again in eight months' time. That was weird.

Since I had spent almost all of my last money I had cash with me on that dress, I went to Tartu with Leonie's host mother the next morning, when she had to go to work. It wasn't too early, so that was okay. I had 80min until my bus home would arrive, so I just had a look around. And then I found it: the most amazing birthday card ever! Seriously. This goes to all the people out there who received an Estonian birthday card from me: yours are great. But don't have a look at the one Jasmin got or you'll get jealous! I ain't kidding! Well - I just had to buy it. Then I calculated if I still had the money to get home. I had 97ct left, so I was relieved, because bus tickets cost 96ct. A second later I realized that I would be taking the bus that cost 98ct. Argh! Then I remembered that I had still 50ct in the not-very-secret pocket in my purse. And another second later, I realized I would have to withdraw some money anyway: first because I would have to take the bus to Tartu to be able to withdraw money and didn't have the money to do so, and second because I needed to send Jasmin's birthday present. So I did.

I spent a pretty disgusting bus ride home. It was one of those beautiful, more or less new, originally Estonian busses - one that didn't have a sign saying "60 DM sind viel Geld" or "Voor de streep geen staanplaatsen!". But one of the passangers smelled strongly of beer and urine. That was shocking because it was so unexpected. The following day was calm.

To get my life into balance again, I listened to the following song, especially to the line ♫ There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be - it's easy! ♫:

Then I was confronted with a difficult decision: we finally received information about the trip to Helsinki. I was just writing Diina to tell her I was definitely coming, when I called Leonie to ask her if she wanted to be in a room with me in the hotel we'd be staying at. We talked about it and telling her all I knew, I became uncertain whether that trip was really as amazing as I thought. I stopped writing the mail and agreed with Leonie that she'd ask Diina some stuff about the trip the following day and then call me. The same night, I called my mother and asked her what to do. She helped a lot, but still I couldn't decide what to do. That hit me. I am used to knowing everything everytime (or at least pretend to do so), so it was difficult to confess to myself that I wasn't knowing what to do.

Monday, Leonie called me. She would be going. It followed a time of thinking. I had written a message to Luisa from my VBT (preparation seminar) back in Germany who was now staying in Finland and whom I was hoping to meet in Helsinki that weekend. She told me she wouldn't be there, same as many other students, because they'd be having some language seminar. This kinda made me certain that I wouldn't be going, but I wrote a message to both Sylvina and Jasmin all the same, including all the advantages and disadvantages of going, and they both told me not to go. So I told Diina. I won't go to Finland.

Later, Ilona and me were laughing so hard, that Andreas who hadn't seen what had happened, was seriously confused and complaining about nobody ever telling him anything.

What had happened was the following: I had been standing in the kitchen, wildly gesticulating and unaware of the fact that Ilona, who was sitting in the living room, could perfectly well watch me doing so. Short story long: I wanted to drink our self-made juice, but the can was empty which it hadn't been half an hour before. So I waved my arms around my head frustrated and silently complaining for the first time. Then I wanted to make myself some tea instead but the delicious one that my mother had sent me is so strong that it would've been a waste of it to take a normal cup. I wanted to take the huge cup that we have, but it wasn't in the cupbpard - and it hadn't been there the day before either! The only thing in there was a pot for cream. So I wildly waved my hands for the second time. Then Ilona asked me what exactly I was doing there and we both started laughing reeeaally hard. :D

Folkdancing training hadn't been as hard as usually that day. Unfortunately, I had been having a headache all day long but ignored it as I always do when it's not absolutely unbearable. In choir, it became unbearable, so when I stayed in the dormitory with Kaie (Janika had left for Italy the Thursday before and wouldn't be coming back until Tuesday night), I took some pills against it. Still, all that turning and running and jumping around during the training wasn't the best thing to do, so after about half of it, I felt how I got close to losing conscience and my head was pounding really hard, so I asked our trainer for a short break. It was okay, since we were missing one boy anyways and Aveli could dance with my partner. After some minutes, I was fine again and could join the others. When training was over, I had my first all Estonian phone call. That was nice and made me proud.

On Tuesday was the International Hug An Exchange Student Day. Somehow nobody hugged me. Most people simply didn't know and I didn't want to look desperate running around and telling everybody to hug me. Janika was still in Italy, I didn't meet Iris, and when I met Õnne, it was in the cafeteria and we both agreed that it was a weird place to hug. I didn't go to Tartu either that day (I didn't have money and still had to write my damn history essay which I was doing instead of all the tests the others had to do), so I didn't even meet Leonie. All that was somehow depressing. But the next day, Janika was back and Õnne gave me the promised ten hugs. That cheered me up.

Still Tuesday, I was tired. I hadn't slept very much during the last nights, so when I was sitting on the diivan, staring at the TV without seriously watching, I decided I'd better go to bed instead of falling asleep on the couch. So I found myself going to bed at 8.40 in the evening. This may sound weird and especially my brother seemed like laughing inside when I went to bed long time before him, but it is soooo amazing to sleep for ten and a half hours (!!!) in the middle of the week and was definitely worth it.

I had written already 1.400 words for history that day but still hadn't finished my essay. My teacher had told me to simply write as much as I thought was necessary, so I used my time (the first four lessons) on Wednesday to go on working. I wrote it in English, simply using a green pen for the German words when I didn't know the translation and managed to do another huge part of it. Then I thought that it might make sense to ask my English teacher to grade it, too - after all, about 50% of the work was only translating into English, and even in my German exam last year I didn't write half as much - and she agreed. So I would be getting two marks on the same work. That's green working!

The evening was beautiful, so I took some photos. At night, I went to have a shower and then took photos again. Then I saw a deer. Our dog had chased away all the others and that one was standing perfectly still. It was dark but I could see it was there, only some meters away from me. It was still too far to take a photo of it, so I moved as calmly and quietly as possible towards it until there were only about five meters between us and took a photo. It appeared to be a tree. Well - at least every Estonian who listens to this story bursts into laughter. :D

Evening.

The deer!!!

Early morning.

Still pretty early.

  Later. Not late. Still early.

Thursday morning, I stood up at 6.30. I had sent my essay to Sylvi and wanted to see what she had corrected, and I wanted to take some morning photos outside and maybe even see some (real) deer. School was okay that day, and Janika and me went to that international workshop I talked about in my last entry. It was nice. Afterwards I went to Ilona's colleague, whom she was just visiting. Their dog had pups!!!

Friday was mainly boring. School was calm, I didn't have anything to do. But I got a 5 on my history essay! In keemia, we did some experiment with feathers. I remembered that those were actually the feathers of my host grandparents' geese - Ilona had taken them to school because the science teachers need them sometimes for experiments and didn't have any birds of their own. That was funny. :) I wore that new dress that I had bought the week before in Tartu and got several compliments for it. That was amazing.

I didn't go to Tartu. Leonie didn't have time for me and since the weather was bad, taking photos wouldn't be too nice and I simply didn't have the money to spend my time with wasting it or doing nothing. But sitting at home on the diivan, my mother and oldest brother with me, drinking tea, and all staring into nowhere, not knowing what to do, I nearly cried. So I emptied my cup, went up to my room, lay down with the cat, cried a bit and then fell asleep. At five, Andreas woke me up because we had dinner. Or some other meal - I still don't know what is meant to be what. So I had some food, then watched some TV and went online afterwards, had some nice chats and found http://www.postcrossing.com/ and signed up. It's a pity that since 01.11.11 you have to pay 1€ (instead of 58ct!) for a postcard/normal letter, but still. I think that website is a good idea. And I found something funny. It probably isn't funny for those who don't understand Estonian and even I get only some of the jokes. But it is comparable to the literal translation of German phrases, like "Your English is so what from under all pig, I believe I spider!" or "Don't paint the devil on the wall!" or "I think me kicks a horse!". Just in Estonian.

Oh dear! - Oh deer!
God only knows. - God's only nose.

That evening was the big game: Estonia vs. Ireland. I missed the better part of it because I was skypeing with Tanja for 2h 09min 50sec. That was truly amazing. It cheered me up and gave me lots of energy again. We spent that time laughing mostly and gossiping and all that other stuff I missed. We finished our call just in time for me to see two Irish players run against each other. During the first half of the game, Ireland had already scored one goal. During the second half, they scored another three. The umpire was an idiot somehow, so no wonder that Ireland won. Argh. :'((

Yesterday (Saturday) I went to the grandparents with Ilona, Ahti, Andreas and our dog. It was nice. Afterwards, we brought Andreas to his friend's birthday party, bought the tickets for the ballet "The Nutcracker" and then went to visit Monique and her host family. Later, we fetched Andreas and went back home. It was absolutely dark by that time. I asked "What time is it?" It was only 6. I was indignant: "That is a joke!" Ilona answered "see ei ole 'joke'. See on elu!"

Today I sent Jasmin her second birthday present. The last few hours I spent writing this entry. Sometime in between, Ilona called me to watch Ahti hang up some food for the tomtits. It was speck. That shocked me. It followed a discussion with Ilona, where she tried to explain why they got that kind of food and that they liked it, and all my counter-arguments were either "But they are birds!" or "But it is speck!". That was funny.

Ich liebe dich, mein Schatz. Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!